When the Phrase "A great marriage of electro and hip-hop." is used as a description of a top ten album, I discount that critic.


If your vehicle does not bottom out at least once while driving to the Schmuck camping site, you've not packed enough and will be severely punished by the Schmuck gods. 

Question not whether it will rain--question how MUCH will it rain

Never trust a deer with wings.

Never bitch-slap a pumpkin while it's burning.

In a fire, take off your jeans and coat yourself liberally with Pumpkin

Realizing when the batteries need to be replaced in your boombox is the best proof of intelligent life.